One of my favorite things to think about other than eating is clothing. It’s shallow and all that, but everyone has some guilty pleasure, right? This is mine. I’d say I’m into fashion, but it’s not even that deep. It’s not like I enjoy keeping track of the latest developments in haute couture. I really just like to look at clothing that I might actually buy.
There was a time in my life that Free People was my favorite clothing brand. I fondly recall a belly-flashing white babydoll top that even at 16 I had the wisdom to recognize was the sort of thing I had maybe two years to really enjoy wearing. So when Urban Outfitters started expanding their Free People line with dedicated stores, I got a little excited. I was browsing the website. Then I saw this:
And this, people, is totally INSANE. Let’s be honest. If you saw this walking towards you (and she wasn’t a drop-dead gorgeous model) wouldn’t you be pretty sure that she was either a) a vagrant or b) a junkie?
Let’s analyze the look, shall we? Over the knee riding boots + a cropped top OVER a tee-shirt is a fashion disaster by itself, but then we have the distressed overall shorts to really top this nonsense off. Now I could write a dissertation on the tragedy of overall shorts, but these are truly spectacular. With the ill-fitting button closure and the “distress” that looks like a cat took a swipe at the left leg, you’d be hard-pressed to find clothing that more convincingly says, “I really couldn’t give less of a crap about how I look.”
Except, HA HA, the joke is on you because those fugly overall shorts cost $218. Not only does she want to look like that, she shelled out serious coin to make it happen.
Add a little body paint for that fresh-from-Coachella look, and you are good to go.
Hey Free People, maybe we can find some common ground in your denim section, hrm? Oh yes, I think we can…