Worst Monday EVER

In a flagrant violation of my New Year’s resolution to not eat sugar (for a while anyway), I finished up the weekend by baking a triple layer chocolate cake. I work in a very small office, and the six or so times each year that we have a birthday to celebrate, I pretty well end up supplying the treats. Such are the joys of being an ex-bakery-owner. Even though I made bread, not sweets, and certainly not cakes, somehow having “professional experience” makes me the obvious candidate for all baking endeavors.

In reality, the only reason that I can bake a decent cake is that I read cookbooks pretty widely, and know my way around what works. My favorite book for cakes is the Chocolate Cake Mix Doctor – the vastly preferable sequel to the Cake Mix Doctor because in it she eliminates all the crap that you would never make anyway, and focuses her energy on the only ingredient that makes a cake worth the effort – chocolate. I chose the first cake in the book – a simple chocolate layer with whipped cream for the inside layers and chocolate frosting for the outside. It looked AMAZING.

Got to work this morning, and was pulling the cake out of my car when it started to topple. I hadn’t set the Tupperware up right somehow or something, because it hit the passenger seat upholstery, and, panicked, I had to drop everything I was holding so I could grab the cake with both hands to right it again on the platter. Now my hands were full of chocolate frosting and I couldn’t touch anything, so I closed the car door with my hip and ran up to the bathroom to wash up. Going back down to the car, I discovered that one of the things I had thrown on the car seat in my hurry were my car keys which were now sitting unreachable in a pile of chocolate frosting locked in the car next to my deformed cake. Welcome back from vacation.

Let me pause here a moment to sing the many praises of the WONDERFUL people at AAA. Oh holy crap, how I love love love AAA. I called, and in less than 30 minutes, a sweet young man named Christian was opening my car up. The whole procedure took less than 30 seconds once he had his tools out, which were essentially a piece of bendy plastic with a string attached to one end, and a slightly less bendy second piece of plastic. People, your care is NOT secure when you lock it. If Christian ever decides to use his skillz for evil, we are all in trouble.

I rushed the cake up to the office, and did a bit of surgical work on the thing to disguise the fact that half the chocolate frosting was still stuck to my car seat. And truly, to look at it, no one would ever know that anything at all happened to it. Unless, that is, my coworkers happen to be reading this blog, in which case, hey guys, I’m sorry. I’m pretty sure nothing bad was stuck to the cake. My car, on the other hand, is a total disaster. I have no idea how to get the giant smears of chocolate out of the seats. Sam promises to take my car tomorrow and see what he can do. I’m pretty sure that when he sees the mess in the light of day he’s going to be horrified.

The cake was pretty good. Cake almost never lives up to its promise, I think. It always looks so delectable and so fancy, but the flavors are so rarely worth the calories. I’ve had very few cakes that I would count as truly amazing. The best cake I ever made had 2 cups of beets in it, and thick cream cheese frosting. I can’t begin to explain why that worked, but it was my personal best. I’ll share that recipe soon. Meanwhile, if you want to try to duplicate my layer cake, here’s the recipe, more or less:

1 pkg Betty Crocker or Pillsbury chocolate cake mix (not Duncan Hines or generic)
1 C sour cream
3/4 C water
1/2 C vegetable oil
4 eggs
1 t vanilla

Mix all the ingredients. Pour into three greased and floured 9 in pans. Bake for 20 mins at 350.

For the middle layers, I made my favorite white frosting:

1/2 brick cream cheese
1/2 C powdered sugar
1 C heavy whipping cream

Beat the powdered sugar and the cream cheese until smooth. Whip in the cream until thick and stiff.

For the chocolate frosting, I used a can from the shelf because Target was out of powdered sugar, and I couldn’t face making another stop. It was actually pretty good, but if I was doing it again, I’d melt 6 oz chocolate, add a stick of butter, and 2 C powdered sugar, and smear that mess over the whole thing.

About christianathomas

I'm a working mother of two trying to make eating well fit into our hectic lives. I also used to own a completely chaotic bakery. Follow me for tips and tricks on how to get more whole foods into your diet.
This entry was posted in cake, chocolate. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Worst Monday EVER

  1. Carrie says:

    You should get one of those great tupperware cake plate things that have a cover that latch right on. Sure they are unwieldy to store but they are fantastic for carrying any kind of round thing in the car. Seriously, I have one and it has been a lifesaver!

  2. Oh, Carrie, I love me some Tupperware. When it works. Or maybe, better said, when I haven't been rushing around like a madwoman to get out the door and actually MAKE SURE THE DAMN THING IS LATCHED. Believe it or not, I actually managed my epic mess all while using Tupperware. Badly.Maybe the next step is the one with the handle? Then at least I'd know it was unlatched right away. Though given this mess, I'm unlikely to make that mistake again. 🙂

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